I know what you are thinking, corny Dear John quote, but nope another sucky health post.
I lasted a whole two weeks at work before someone gave me their unsanitary germs. As I am lying here typing this I have no sense of smell (although my nose has stopped running so that is a good thing), sore nostrils, sore throat, lungs that feel heavy and are producing a lot of, well crap!! Sweaty, hot and cold at the same time and to top it all off, I am deaf in one ear and suffering with ear pain and a stiff neck, along with numbness in the (deaf) side of my face and a headache of all headaches – looking at the screen is even painful.
Whoever passed me these germs, I WILL FIND YOU AND….
But not literally of course ( I am far too nice for that). In all seriousness I feel like death warmed up, who gets ill in a heatwave – that would be me!!
If anyone has any suggestions on how to get better soon and how to bring my hearing back I would appreciate it.
TW : This post can be triggering.
I do not really know how I am feeling at the moment.
I have gone back to work after being off for the entire period of 2018. (Literally!!)
Was I ready?….No
Was it necessary?….YES!!
Thoughts I have had since being back at work;
- Wanting to self harm.
- Thinking I would be better off dead.
- That I am useless, weak and stupid.
- That I am making work for people.
- That I do not deserve this job.
And so many mixed feelings of anger, frustration and sadness.
Being off work is difficult, if your partner works then you cannot get financial support because “your partner earns too much” and when you finally get told to apply for Universal Credit to help they tell you sorry “too much money” – after weeks of waiting, meetings and appointments!! PIP takes months and I hear more about them rejecting claims than anything and ESA you cannot get if you get SSP (although mine ended in June so I could have applied for this during my time off but didn’t as I was told I had SSP until August.)
Money is a b*tch!! We all have bills to pay but I find it a real shame that people who struggle and are going through a hard time get very limited support. Yet I know plenty of people that cheat the system and get more money than my annual income from working. (I am not judging people who do not work and that receive benefits, I am talking about several people I know that receive benefits and do not work when they could work but choose not to)
Now that rant is over. I am back at work part-time and should be building things slowly. We shall see, hopefully things improve.
To be continued….
I am warning you, if you hate people that say they have news but then they don’t reveal it, then this post IS going to annoy you!!
On the 28th of June 2018 I was given some exciting, happy and life changing news and I just want to shout it out from the roof top.
You will come to understand later in the Year why I cannot say anything at the moment but I now know what my life will be like in 5-10 years time!! I have fought and fought so long for this and people will not understand but I live so much of my life caring for others and not doing what I wanted and needed to do but doing things for the wellbeing of others. NOW IS MY TIME!!!!
To be continued….