TW (Trigger Warning) Discussions of bullying and suicide.
As I have found myself with a lot of spare time this week I have been trying to keep up to date with the news and one topic seems to be coming up more often than others and it has really hit me….
Seriously, what is wrong with the world? Why must people hurt others so much it makes them want to be dead?
A 14-year-old boy has ended his life in Wales this week due to bullying in School. I’m sure that this is not the only death this week due to bullying, especially in younger people and children.
Other young people are reported to be afraid of returning to school following the Summer Holidays because of bullies. Schools have bullying policies but are young people really being protected.
I was bullied when I was in school, towards the end of Primary School and in Secondary School. It possibly played a part in my anorexia in Secondary School but I sought help for the bullying when things got to a certain stage (most of the time but a lot of incidents went unreported because it was just too much effort to report). It really affected me and quite often the only thing done was a discussion between bully and teacher, sometimes with me present-nothing seems to ever be taken further. Not that I am saying that every time someone is bullied it should go to the police, but when we live in a world that is seeing an increase in Mental Health difficulties and awareness, suicides and the carrying of weapons such as knives and guns, we never know when things will get really serious or how long it will take someone to be tipped over the edge. Some people will brush bullying off their shoulders and their feelings build up over time , but other times that first instance or first severe threat or comment can result in the end of a life.
I will go further into bullying in later posts but there is an increasing level of stories about bullying in schools, homes, streets and workplaces and many of us are suffering and the bullies get away with it. Often bullies get away with their actions because of their status, their family or the fact that they have been in a company for a long time and ” would never do that” – even when other staff have reported it. One situation I have experienced is being treated badly and having a witness to this, but then this person has been spoken to and denied it and they are believed, even though I had a witness to the incident. It is incidents like this that make me not like people (and I like people!) but I have been let down and treated badly so much in life, one thing I hate is if I witness a bully, bad treatment, ‘slagging off’ or gossiping and talking badly about someone, it takes a hell of a lot of persuasion for me to make a good impression in my mind about that person, if you are one of these people I often hold a grudge against the person, you won’t know it, because I remain civil (unlike a lot of people) but secretly I do not trust you and do not like or respect you as a person.
I do not respect bullies. I will be civil and treat you with general respect – because that is the type of person I am. But I will not like you and probably not change my mind.
I am glad that Heads Together have started a campaign regarding workplace bullying.
I recommend a visit to this page, and encourage workplaces to use this also as the number of people who have experienced bullying in their current workplace is a huge 48%!! Here is the webpage the page also directs you to;
This week, it is all about Money.
Mental health and money go hand in hand. Mental ill-health can make managing money difficult (not always!) and worrying about money can make mental ill health worse. It can be a vicious cycle.
I recently talked to someone from the Mental Health and Money Advice Service.
I had no idea how much they can support people ( I wish I used them and their help when I was off work!) Seriously check them out if you need some support with money. They can even help you if you do not know where to start; (The link below this screenshot is for Wales, so make sure you select the right part of the UK in the options in the top right corner of the website);
Another quote for you; my plan is to give mental health images or quotes every other week to break up the information in the other weeks. Although this could change.
Hello to another Mental Health Monday;
Today I want to discuss one of my ‘pet peeves’ about mental health.
- “If you need anything I’m here”
- “Hope you are ok”
- “My door is always open”
- “I/We care and are here for you”
- “Love you”
I am sorry but personally I have been told this and seen it so much. It is utter BS!! very few people care. I spent 7 months – YES 7 MONTHS at home off sick with my mental health and I had 2 visitors!! 2 – now you say this is better than none but only one of those visitors actually asked how I was.
Please let me know I am not alone with these frustrating phrases and how I feel about them? if you do not suffer with mental or physical health difficulties, or you do but you feel it doesn’t impact you much please PLEASE PLEASE be thoughtful when you share these ‘raising awareness’ or ‘my door is always open’ posts – because realistically is that the case. I have tried to force people to visit me just for the sake of seeing them and having someone to speak to but 99.9% of the time there is an excuse, someone else or something else is more important or you just do not care.
Please tell me I am not the only frustrated one??
If you haven’t seen the featured image on this post then here it is again;
This was me in 2011 the night before I flew away to Norway for 6 months of volunteering, an impulsive but life-changing decision that I would definitely do again.
By this point in my life ( 20 Years Old!!) I had experienced my fair share of death and loss, anorexia, bulimia, self harm and abuse. Most recently I had experienced heartbreak and had moved back to the family home. I was getting by (luckily) by not having to pay rent and working a caring job and bar work and Christmas jobs at Marks and Spencer!!
Fast forward to me now and things are very different, but I do miss the ‘old me’ – I was sat thinking about this the other night and then it dawned on me that I could not really remember the old me.
The old me;
- Happily worked at least 2/3 jobs as well as study.
- Only experienced pain when I injured myself.
- Was a little anxious but got on with things.
- Could cope with 2 hours sleep and get up and head out for the day.
- Exercised several times a week.
- Had people around me.
- Was motivated and enthusiastic about my future. ( The inability to get into Nursing or Midwifery at Uni started this downhill spiral).
- Could get by day-to-day without anxiety, depression, illness, pain or life getting in the way.
- Was happy (ish)
Don’t get me wrong there are positives in life now, but the fact that I looked back to remember the old me and I couldn’t, really hit me. Looking at 2017-Present Day it is difficult to see how a bout of anxiety and depression and other difficulties has made me change so much as a person and made me a shadow of my former self. Factors such as physical illness, workplace bullying, mental health and the realisation of what happened to me as a younger person throughout my life only just becoming a reality and really getting in the way has made me change. I am still unsure whether this change is completely good or not, yes I do get very anxious and depressed, I am in pain a lot of the time and struggle to get to sleep, stay asleep and function normally but I find it so hard to discuss these things as people simply do not understand. You can be the most caring person in the world but unless you have experienced certain things you really cannot understand them. I am tired, it is not tiredness that will be fixed by a decent nights sleep, although that would most likely help it is not going to cure everything. I lie in bed and have to have the tv on in the background because otherwise my mind is at 100000000 miles an hour, it hurts, it is tiring and sometimes scary and upsetting.
I am a shadow of my former self.
I am a working progress.
I do have a plan.
I am working on it.
Just bare with me.
This Monday brings you a quote;