Open University Student. Student Nurse (Adult) Currently on a break. Student Leadership Academy Swansea University 2020 Participant. Health Care Worker. Chihuahua, Chorkie and Rankin Dragon Mami. Currently divorcing.
Cur = Apparently it means a ‘mongrel’ or ‘mixed breed dog’ but can also refer to an unfriendly dog.
I love dogs. Some of them do scare me a bit and they can do bad things, but so can humans. I always remember being around dogs, growing up we definitely always had some cats (sometimes a lot of cats) but I remember having dogs in my life, some years there was only cats but for the majority of the time there were also dogs ( and rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs and fish!!).
Now I am married and we have our own home and 2 dogs. They are not mixed breed dogs but people still call them ‘rats’. The truth is they are my babies, especially as I have no living children and have fertility difficulties. They help my mental health so much and I think if they weren’t here I would be a more impulsive and even sadder person.
Some people call themselves a “people person” – whilst I love helping others and being around people I would also prefer to be surrounded by my dogs, they are less judgemental and understand feelings. If I am having a quiet/sad/melancholy day people tend to just not say anything, whereas a dog always knows.
Due to my complex life history and reasons, I have only just started to explore my past in depth, I never grieved 15 years ago. With everything that has gone on in the last 2 years, my feelings of grief have only just emerged and I am starting the process 15 years on and getting help from available services where I can.
If you are grieving some time after losing someone I have learnt not to feel ashamed for your grief, there were several things stopping me from grieving years ago, it is not my fault I could not explore my feelings and I was not old enough or strong enough to stand up for myself. But I still deserve to grieve. We all do.
Yesterday’s daily word prompt was elaborate;
So I guess my contribution to the topic of elaboration involves my theory surrounding my grief. My childhood wasn’t necessarily unhappy, at the time anyway. Years on I have realised that certain things that happened and ways I was treated were not ‘normal’ and where definitely a cause for concern. I have had a complicated life, exploring it was always going to be a big job but writing this blog does help that. Maybe nobody sees this page, or comments, follows or supports it. But it is my story. My truth. I am not twisting or manipulating the truth, I have been lied to most of my life and I intend to live an honest life. If you do not like it then I am sorry. This is me.