Tag Archives: Life

2018 Events – UPDATED JUNE 25TH 2018

As some of you may know, I am challenging myself this year to do events that put me out of my comfort zone, also to fundraise 🙂 Here is a short post with events I am doing this year (This will be edited throughout the year if I take part in additional events) They say exercise is good for chronic pain and mental health, so this is another reason I am doing events this year also 🙂

If you would like links for my fundraising pages, please let me know below and I will provide the link.

Completed Events or Events that I am Booked onto.

RED January 2018 [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – January 2018 [Completed]

MedalMad Mirror Mirror 5k Challange [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – February 2018 [Completed]

MedalMad Run Like a Beast 5K [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – March 2018[Completed]

MedalMad Before Midnight 5k Challenge [Completed]

Kicks count Bunnies for Babies Event 2018 [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – April 2018 [Completed]

April 30th – Joined the Gym [Completed]

MedalMad Once Upon a Run 5k Challenge [Completed]

Runr Miles 4 Mind (25 Miles) – May 2018 [Completed]

10k Great Run Manchester – May 2018 [Unable to Attend due to illness]

Booband Virtual Race – 10k – May 2018 [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – May 2018 [Completed]

5k Race For Life – July 2018

Cardiff Half Marathon – October 2018

Want to Complete But not yet Booked onto (Pending Finances/Ballot Places)

Virgin London Marathon 2019 – Ballot Entry Placed

Race at your pace 25 Miles – July 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – August 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – September 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – October 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – November 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – December 2018

Fitness Update

TRIGGER WARNING

Please be warned this post will include details about my health journey, including weight loss.

I have been trying to get out and do some exercise including walking and running to build myself up (I will do the London Marathon One Day!!)

I would also like to point out at this point I do see Medical Professionals on a regular basis and my weight loss is monitored – it is also advised by doctors due to my health conditions and in order for me to get certain hospital treatment I have to me the NHS BMI requirements ( do not get me started on my opinions on BMI!!)

But here is my progress:

The fitness scores at the bottom involve using a piece of machinery at the gym I visit to measure certain strengths, I believe the idea is to increase those scores. My goals are to reduce fat % and increase muscle % as well as lose some weight (kg).

Please don’t judge me, I know my weight is very high.

14/05/2018 05/06/2018
Body Composition
Weight (kg) 122 121.85
Fat (%) 45.22 44.04
Muscle (%) 26.6 27.42
Hydration (%) 41.89 42.67
Fitness Test Results
Overall 81 99
Lower Body Strength 1 3
Lower Body Endurance 108 200
Upper Body Strength 150 180
Upper Body Endurance 200 200
Explosive Muscle Power 41 103
Balance 70 104
Speed Ability N/A N/A
Heart Rate Recovery N/A 6

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 21st May 2018

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 21 –  Not everyone that has been abused has experienced physical abuse.

There are several forms of abuse, all of which are damaging.

I have never classed myself as an ‘abuse survivor’ because I always thought that what I went through is nowhere near as bad as many others and their stories. However, on the other hand my experiences have been damaging to me in their own right.

Those that have been abused, especially during childhood are far more likely to experience mental illness in their adulthood and often throughout childhood. The abuse may have been physical, sexual, emotional, neglect, verbal or psychological – each type can be identified in different ways, however people can experience more than one ‘category’ of abuse and symptoms can overlap. But abuse is not always obvious and I bet you have seen, walked past or sat by someone this week that is being abused/has been abused and you had no idea!! It can be easy to hide.

Support is crucial , sometimes you do not know what to say to someone when you find out they have been abused, but it is important not to treat a person differently, perhaps be more understanding and allow more time to process information (and of course be careful what you say). But you just need to be there.

Be Considerate

 

 

 

June 1st Milestones

Well Hello June!!

After midnight which now makes it June 1st my site hit some milestones;

  • 100 Posts – Which will increase over the next few days as my backlog of May Mental Health awareness letters will be uploaded.
  • 1,000 Hits.

I cannot believe that many people actually read about my life and my goals of tackling mental health. I hope I have helped some people along the way.

Thank You xxxx

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 8th May 2018

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 8 – To those of you that support me.

This is a letter to those have had the most positive effect on my Mental Health in recent months. YOU!! You my readers.

I am part of an amazing online community of people with both physical and mental health struggles, as well as University Students with the same difficulties – I have never met any of you but you have been so supportive. There are also an amazing group of you that have no struggles, yet empathise so much with my journey.

 

Thank You So much xxxx

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 3rd May 2018

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 3 – To the people who thought I was ‘Pulling a fast one’ being off work for months because of my appendix.

You may already know that in 2016 my physical health took a turn downhill. Long story short I could have died and felt at my weakest.

Now I heard a lot of gossip (also witnessed it once, unknowingly to them!) and people thought I was pulling a ‘fast one’ to get paid time off.

Luckily where I lived at the time had a downstairs toilet because I literally had to drag myself up and down the stairs if I needed something, I even wet myself once trying to get downstairs to the toilet. I had the district nurse visit me to tend to my infections in my surgical sites (quite common with keyhole surgeries apparently) I cried most days and felt ugly, fat, bloated, worthless and mentally drained.

But people thought I was pulling a fast one because their relative was in and out of hospital and back to work quickly with their appendix. I was back to work 2 weeks after my first keyhole surgery (big mistake and pushed myself too far) but having had a good few weeks of fatigue, infection and illness even before having the appendix removed, the surgeon advised it would not be a quick recovery-my body was physically and mentally drained. When I managed to walk a few doors up to the doctor’s surgery a few weeks after surgery, almost passing out in the front entrance the nurse had to get the doctor to come and “tell me off” for doing too much because I vacuumed once when I spilled a pot of glitter on the carpet.

So to those ‘people’ who thought I was taking advantage of my employer by taking sick pay and sitting at home “doing nothing and making money” – I didn’t see you sending flowers, cards or even popping in to say hi. Your comments really hurt me and coming back to work to face you every day was so difficult, I almost didn’t come back. Then again that wouldn’t have bothered you because you don’t like me anyway.

Think before you make remarks!!

I am only 27….

I am only 27 years old (or young!) and I have lived through

  • Emotional Abuse and Bullying

  • Physical Abuse and Bullying

  • Self Harm

  • Anorexia

  • Bulimia

  • Binge Eating Disorders

  • Suicidal Thoughts

  • Loss of a Parent

  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

And you know what? I am still here!! Mental Illness is a difficult, harsh and life changing problem.

But

You can do it!! We are here for each other, if you are having a bad time, speak to someone – You can do it!!

2018 Events – UPDATED JUNE 25TH 2018

As some of you may know, I am challenging myself this year to do events that put me out of my comfort zone, also to fundraise 🙂 Here is a short post with events I am doing this year (This will be edited throughout the year if I take part in additional events) They say exercise is good for chronic pain and mental health, so this is another reason I am doing events this year also 🙂

If you would like links for my fundraising pages, please let me know below and I will provide the link.

Completed Events or Events that I am Booked onto.

RED January 2018 [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – January 2018 [Completed]

MedalMad Mirror Mirror 5k Challange [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – February 2018 [Completed]

MedalMad Run Like a Beast 5K [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – March 2018[Completed]

MedalMad Before Midnight 5k Challenge [Completed]

Kicks count Bunnies for Babies Event 2018 [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – April 2018 [Completed]

April 30th – Joined the Gym [Completed]

MedalMad Once Upon a Run 5k Challenge [Completed]

Runr Miles 4 Mind (25 Miles) – May 2018 [Completed]

10k Great Run Manchester – May 2018 [Unable to Attend due to illness]

Booband Virtual Race – 10k – May 2018 [Completed]

Race at your pace 25 Miles – May 2018 [Completed]

5k Race For Life – July 2018

Cardiff Half Marathon – October 2018

Want to Complete But not yet Booked onto (Pending Finances/Ballot Places)

Virgin London Marathon 2019 – Ballot Entry Placed

Race at your pace 25 Miles – July 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – August 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – September 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – October 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – November 2018

Race at your pace 25 Miles – December 2018

I am getting closer and closer to a breaking point!!

Hi everyone.

Firstly I apologise in advance for any foul language in this post!! You have been warned!!

Unfortunately at the moment I cannot really discuss in detail all the issues going on with some people as it could reflect badly on me and them,  I would rather wait until it is safe to discuss things.

I feel;

  • lost
  • broken
  • unsupported
  • stressed
  • Fed-Up
  • upset
  • sad
  • intimidated
  • useless

But these are only words. I have had enough of begging for help, waiting and waiting for nothing to happen. When people are supposed to help and pride themselves on helping but yet do not do that – what am I to do?

ALL I WANT IS SOME HELP AND SUPPORT!!

Now this is a complete rant but if I do not get it of my chest I do not know what would happen. My wife doesn’t deserve my mood swings, laziness and life ruining conditions, I am surprised she is still with me . I feel so sad and so angry, what on earth have I done to deserve this ill-treatment!!

I am not a suicidal person and I do not plan to ever end my life, but in all honesty I find myself each day thinking, wondering and some days wishing that I had not been born- I imagine how everybody would live if they did not have me in their life- to be honest I think the only people who would miss me is my wife, best friend and older brother Mark, well and of course my dogs-nobody else bothers and when they do it is only to pass information on to my ‘mother’ or to be nosey and give it the old;

” I’m here if you want to talk”

BULLSHIT – You are not here if I need to talk, that is just the “thing to say” – unless you actually mean it, but few people actually mean it!!

I am receiving Statutory Sick Pay, I cannot get UC payments as my wife earns ” Over the threshold” and PIP is a 6+ week waiting progress, ESA I cannot receive until my Statutory Sick Pay finishes financially I am going down the drain but of course it is MY FAULT because I am off work and I am putting myself in this situation, when the case is not this!!

In the famous words from myself

FUCK THIS SHIT!!

 

April 25th 2018 – 2 Years Post Appendicectomy

I was 2 months into my new job and it was my first time taking an official call at my job. I don’t really remember the first call very well. What I do remember is feeling a heaviness in my chest, I felt ill and not right. I thought I was just scared and pushed through another call. Before admitting I didn’t feel well. My mentor and colleagues said to me that if I felt unwell not to worry and go home. I decided it would be a good idea to go home. This was in early March-if I knew what was to come over the next few months I would have driven myself to A&E straight after work.

If you go back 2 years in my posts you will see the struggles I went through (written in a held back, milder manner!!) Posts such as 6 weeks of health and Apparently “There is no Way it is your Appendix!”.

My life has changed in the past 2 years. I changed jobs, bought a house, moved house in that time. I have battled with my physical and mental health. Been treated badly and cut out certain people-that was a tough decision to take but I have realised that I need to consider my own wellbeing and toxic people are not part of my life anymore.